I'm Changing

I thought for some reason moving to New York and getting a job would be enough to shake me out of the lifestyle and style-style I had for the last two years and open all the doors I need for my next one, but it's not.

So much like that guy I saw in the elevator at work who's toupee was a different color than his below the ear hairline, I need give myself an upgrade. A new haircut, new furniture (like a real bed) a new computer eventually, new music, new interests and even new friends that might not be in advertising. WHAT!!*!&^@@^!. Yes. Not in advertising. WHAT@#*&^!^!@1!. Not in advertising.

Oh.

Slate, don't you dare

The ice cream man runs away from children. And other ice cream men.

He comes by my apartment about every hour. Even at night when he switches from "do your ears hang low" to a remixed nightime club version. There are two of them actually. There's the nice guy who takes his time with the ice cream and serves it with a smile, and mean one who doesn't speak but gives fast service and is $.50 cheaper. I prefer this one.

When I'm bored I do things like

get a job. woops.

I pressed 9.

Remove me from the calling list.

When I'm bored I do things like

Sign up for match.com.

Then they reject my profile.

Would it be wrong

to name your child Ice Cream Sandwiches?